《阴沉木狂想曲》
Rhapsody of the Buried Wood
（三）
不久后，黑高个儿和藤女人带着一根小藤爬到我身上。白天，许许多多的小藤爬到我身上玩。那些小藤以惊人的速度不停生长，这种旺盛的生命力让我想到了我的老敌手杉树！
(III)
Soon after, the tall black man and the slight woman climbed on top of me with a skinny child. During the day, a group of children climbed up onto my tree trunk to play. Those thin children grew at an amazing speed, which reminded me of the exuberant vitality of my rival cedar!
我不得不承认，人类的确心灵手巧。他们勤劳，并且懂得种植出良好的庄稼。每到秋天，那些流金一样的稻子便在风中摇晃，人类唱起歌来，整个山谷被一种澄明的光辉笼罩。即便在千年以后，我仍然记得这些时光。这些回忆使我明亮起来；但有时候我又怀疑，这些回忆是否只是我的妄想？
I have to admit that human beings are indeed industrious and ingenious, and know how to grow good crops. In autumn, golden ears of rice swayed with the wind and human beings sang, which made the whole valley shrouded in a clear light. Even a thousand years later, I still remember those happy times; but sometimes I wonder if those beauty were just my delusions.
我记得一只红色长喙的乌鹳曾停留在我的树枝上。我看着他，问，喂，怎么了，你为什么看起来这么疲惫？他说，你这懒汉一样的树啊，永远待在原地，你不会知道，我从很远很远的地方来到这里。我说，很远很远的地方是哪里？它将那红色的长喙对准一个方向，告诉我，朝着这个方向，一直向北，我飞过千座高山万重峡谷，到达北方森林。乌鹳说，废物一样的树！你看看自己，你没有翅膀，没有脚，你的根系深深地扎进泥土里，它们扎得如此之深，已经使你永远离不开这里！这是真相中的真相，许多事情上无论你如何努力也没有用，除了显得自己更加愚蠢之外，没有任何一点作用。乌鹳吱地一声飞走了。次年春天，乌鹳飞回了北方的森林。
A stork had stayed on my branches, and he looked so tired. I asked him curiously. “What happened to you?” He said, “You can only stay where you are forever, like a slob, not knowing how far I have come and how hard the journey has been.” “Where is the faraway place?” I asked. He pointed in one direction with his long beak and said, “It's over there, and I have to go all the way north, flying over a thousand mountains and valleys, to reach the northern forest.” The black stork said. “You'll never be able to leave here, because you have no wings, no feet, and your roots are deeply rooted in the dirt. Forget it, for things that cannot be solved, extra effort only makes you look foolish. You're gonna have to remember that, okay?” After saying that, he flew away with a disdainful face. In the spring of the following year, the black stork flew back to the northern forest.
我正在发生着某种转变。我开始喜欢暴雨风来临的时刻，因为风已经不是我以往认识的样子，它变得强大又可怕，拼命想击倒我！当我的树叶猛烈摇晃，身躯不停震颤，有很多次，我从这种强大的、可怕的东西中看到了自己，一粒躺在黑暗地层中的种子，那时我有预感，安稳舒服的境况会使我奔向死亡，而非生命。即便在这样的土壤中，在这样的暴雨中，在这样的争夺中，我的生长连连受挫，根系短小并且卷曲，仿佛随时可能全部断裂，但是这种激怒，让我的根向深处、向更深处延伸，我的枝干越来越接近星空，有时候，我觉得那些星星就在我的头顶，我只要轻轻晃动叶片，就能触到它们。我甚至开始喜欢这带着酸苦味道的大地，这浓雾的山谷，疯长的苔藓与蕨类，夏初漫山遍野的杜鹃花。这里的夜晚，有着风的气息和萤火虫的光亮。此时，我已经如此伟岸、美丽、无与伦比的强健，在深深的大地之下，我粗壮纷繁的根须盘错在一起，野火不仅不能威胁到我的生存，相反，它将杂草矮木燃烧殆尽，化为我的养分。它们再也无法掠夺我的生存。我长久地存在于一切之中，仿佛超越了时间。
I'm undergoing some kind of transformation and I'm starting to enjoy the moment when the storm comes, because the wind is no longer what I used to know, it's becoming powerful and terrifying, desperately trying to knock me down! When my leaves shook violently and my body kept trembling, I saw from this powerful and terrible thing that I was still a seed lying in the dark formation trying to survive. I had a hunch that a stable and comfortable situation would make me run towards death, not life, so it was time for me to become strong and terrible. Barren soil, heavy rain, fierce competition and subject to all the roots of the fracture of short and curly, frustrated I grow continuously. However, my roots extended deeper and deeper because of the harsh conditions, and my branches were closer and closer to the stars. Sometimes, I thought those stars were right above my head so that I can touch them by shaking the leaves gently. I even began to like the bitter earth, the foggy valleys, the crazy moss and ferns, and the azaleas all over the mountains in early summer. Nights of here are always filled with the smell of the wind and the glow of fireflies. By this time, I had become so majestic, beautiful and strong. Deep beneath the earth, I had thick and tangled roots and whiskers, so that wildfire not only could not threaten my survival, but on the contrary, the burned-out weeds and trees became my nourishment. At this time, I defeated everything, as if I had gained eternal life.
一天夜里，黑高个儿独自一人来到树下。我很好奇，藤女人呢？这时，树林中突然蹿出几个黑影，我不知道发生了什么，希望他们不会影响我数星星。不过。我渐渐察觉到情况的异常，他们在攻击黑高个儿！在幽幽的月光下，他们用闪烁着银光的东西扎他，一下又一下，陷入了一种狂热。他的力气呢？他的英雄气概呢？他不应该出现在这里，至少不应该以这样的狼狈模样出现在这里，出现在如此热爱和崇拜他的树的跟前。我认为他已经不是他了，他怎么会坐以待毙呢？他的生灵的气息正在消失，他的味道在变淡，他仿佛在越变越小，变成藤，最后变成一片凋零的枯叶。一股股温热的血溅到我的身上，这种温热的感觉是那么熟悉，好像他的手掌拂过。我的树叶猛地颤了一下，我知道，从此以后他的手掌不会再抚摸我了。他们动作迅速、手脚麻利，在我身下的土地挖出一个坑，然后像抛一块破麻布那样把黑高个儿抛了进去，草草地盖上碎土。
One night, the tall black man came under the tree alone. I was curious, where was the slight woman? At this moment, a few dark shadows suddenly popped out of the woods, and I didn't know what was happening, hoping they wouldn't bother me counting the stars. I gradually became aware of the abnormality of the situation! They're attacking the tall black man! In the faint moonlight, they stabbed him with something that shimmered with silver light, and one after another, they fell into a frenzied atmosphere. What about his strength? What about his heroism? He should not have been so embarrassed to appear before the tree that loved and worshiped him so much. I don't think he's him anymore, so how could he sit still? The breath of his creatures was disappearing, and he seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, turning into a vine, and finally into a withered leaf. Streams of warm blood splashed on my body, and this warm feeling was so familiar, as if his palm was passing by. My leaves are trembled abruptly, because I knew that his palm would not touch me anymore. Quick and deft, they dug a hole in the ground beneath me and threw him into it as if he were a rag, covering it hastily with broken soil.
完事之后，他们席地而坐。一束月光照射下来，我看到了他们脸上的表情。啊，我认出来了，当年黑高个儿们划着那艘破船来到山谷之初，人类就是这种表情——嘴大大地咧开，露出牙齿。我认出来他们中的一个是那时曾和黑高个儿拥抱的人。我感到好奇，为什么呢？拥抱他的人，和置他于死地的人，为什么是同一个人，用同一种表情呢？我至今也没有解开这个谜团。
When they were done, they sat down on the floor. A beam of moonlight shone down, and I saw the expression on their faces—their mouths were widely open, showing their teeth. The longer I looked at it, the more I felt as if I had seen it somewhere. Oh! I remembered it! When the tall black men rowed the broken boat to the valley, this was the expression on their faces! One of them was the one who had hugged the tall black man at that time! Why? Why would the person who embraced him be the same as the one who killed him now, and the same expression on his face? I still haven't solved this mystery.
在后来的半个多世纪里，藤女人每天独自都会来到树下，爬到我身上，唱起我熟悉的旋律，那是他唱过的歌。后来她也老了，白发苍苍。我想，她永远不会知道树下埋着他。但有时候我看到她的眼睛，我又觉得她知道一切。一天，她靠在我身上睡着了，再也没有醒过来。他亲手系上的红色带子已经变得破烂和腐坏。
For more than half a century, every day the vine woman would come alone under the tree, climb on top of me, and sing a melody familiar to me, which was the song he had sung. With the passage of time, the woman also grew old and became a white-haired woman. I thought she would never know he was buried under my feet. But sometimes I see her eyes and I feel like she knows everything. One day, she fell asleep on top of me and never woke up again. The red belt he had tied to me by his own hands had become tattered and rotten.
那是一个黄昏，我的根系明显感到土地的异常，它们变得松软且颤抖着。颤动感越来越强烈，在朦胧的暮色中，山谷整个儿开始倾斜，一股巨大的污浊的洪流裹卷着树木残枝、猪牛狗鸡、房梁瓦片，从天际朝我袭来，像空中有一双无形的巨手，不停地推着一切向下倾斜、压倒、淹没、摧毁，而这双手的主人显得是那么不费吹灰之力。
At dusk of the day, my root system was visibly sensing the anomaly of the earth, and the earth had become soft and trembling. The trembling became more and more intense, and the valley in the hazy twilight began to tilt in its entirety, and a huge filthy torrent wrapped around the stumps of trees, pigs, cows, dogs, chickens, and beams and tiles came toward me from the sky. It was as if a pair of invisible giant hands were constantly pushing everything downwards, making everything overwhelmed, submerged, and eventually destroyed, but the owner of these hands seemed so effortless.
不可抗拒，并且无法逃离。不断加剧的倾斜，眼前的被摧毁的一切，使我感到一种即将解脱的快意。世界在变得暗淡，我的粗壮纷繁的根须再也抓不住挚爱的大地。我感到一种东西压着我，非常沉重，又非常温暖。我感到自己离河水越来越近，我看到河底的鱼，虾，石头，看到自己归入尘土前的最后的倾斜的模样。嘿，结束了吗？我的村庄，我的山中的歌声，我的黑高个儿，和爬到我身上嬉戏的疯长的小藤们。的确，我没有恐惧。最后一眼，我望向山谷，它依然是那么美。
Everything that happened to me was irresistible and impossible to escape. The ever-increasing tilt, the destruction of everything in front of me, made me feel a sense of imminent relief. The world is darkening, and my thick, multifaceted roots can no longer grasp the beloved earth. I felt something pressing down on me, very heavy, and very warm. I felt myself getting closer and closer to the river, I saw the fish, shrimp, stones at the bottom of the river, and saw the last tilt of myself before I fell into the dust. Hey, my village, my mountain song, my tall black man, and the crazy growing children who climbed on top of me and played are all gone? Indeed, I have no fear. At the last glance, I looked at the valley, and it was still so beautiful.
（四）
这能让我相信吗？可笑的事情就是这样发生的——在过了一千八百年的时光后，我又重新回到了无尽的黑暗中。这次我被掩埋于河床的泥沙之下。命运不停地捉弄我，即便我也曾成为大地上无与伦比的存在，但我依旧被它轻易地玩弄于股掌之中。更可笑的是，我的根须已经离开了赖以生存的土壤，但我竟然还活着。我还活着，并且如此狼狈、不堪和愚蠢，生命不会给我一个痛快的结束，而目前这种缺氧、高压、逼仄的环境，使早已习惯在地面生活的我痛苦得死去活来。这种黑暗冰冷的绝境，比曾经我是一枚种子的时候更甚，因为此刻我已心如死灰，而不再期待风、太阳和星空。
(IV)
Can I believe that funny things happen like this? After 1800 years, I returned to the endless darkness. This time I was buried under the sediment of the riverbed. What is even more ridiculous is that my roots and whiskers have left the soil on which I depend, but I am still alive, so miserable, and stupid. Life will not give me a happy end, and the current lack of oxygen, high pressure, and cramped environment makes me who has long been accustomed to living on the ground miserably to death. This dark and cold despair is even worse than when I was a seed, because at this moment my heart is like ashes, and I no longer expect the wind, the sun and the stars.
在河水的侵蚀、鱼蟹的啄噬、沙石的压碾以及不知为何的微小生物的掠夺中，我千年来储存的养分很快被蚕食耗尽，树叶迅速凋零并且腐烂，不仅如此，我的身体也在激流与岩石的不断撞击中磨损、残破，我看见自己躯体的碎片在水中漂亮地飞舞。我垂垂老矣，并且感到前所未有的孤独。不久我就将化为尘埃，但我平静地等待着这一天。
In the erosion of the river, the pecking of fish and crabs, the crushing of sand and gravel, and the plundering of somehow tiny creatures, the nutrients I had stored for thousands of years were quickly depleted, and the leaves rapidly withered and decayed. Furthermore, my body was also worn and broken by the continuous impact of the rapids and rocks, and I saw the fragments of my body flying beautifully in the water. I was dying of old age and never felt as alone as I used to . Soon I will be reduced to dust, but I wait calmly for this day.
生命消逝的最后时间里，我拼命回忆着往昔，就像经历了一场甜蜜短暂的梦境。梦里，我刚顶开泥土，冲出黑暗的地层。我看到发着荧荧光辉的河，感受到痒痒的风，还看到那条厚嘴唇鱼。这次，它躺在我旁边，奄奄一息，但依旧对我露出嘲讽的笑，真是岂有此理。我盯着它看的时候，发现它身下有半边头骨。那一刻，我兴奋得快要晕过去了，因为我立刻就认出来，嘿！那是黑高个儿呀！没想到，别离了半个多世纪后，他就这样安静地躺在我旁边。而当他这样陪伴我时，我分明地感到，即将成为死灰的残破身体又再度活过来。在梦里，我将他拥入怀中。
In the last time of my life, I tried my best to recall the past, just like experiencing a sweet and short dream. In the dream, I had just pushed out of the dirt and rushed out of the dark formation. I saw the glowing river, felt the tickling wind, and saw the thick-lipped fish. This time, it lay dying next to me, but it still showed a mocking smile at me. There is no such a rule! I stared at it and found that there was half a skull under it. I was so excited that I was about to faint, because I immediately recognized that it was the tall black man! Unexpectedly, after more than half a century of separation, he lay quietly next to me. When he accompanied me like this, I clearly felt that the broken body that was about to become ashes came back to life again. In my dream, I held him in my arms.
我又开始等待。我在等待什么呢？我尚且不知道，但不是等待死亡了。在那一天来临之前，我还要继续活下去。
I started waiting again. I do not know what I'm waiting for now, but I know it's certainly not death. Until that day comes, I will continue to live.
接下来的四百年时光，尽管依旧处于不知何时能够结束的黑暗中，尽管依旧被挤压、啃噬和摧磨，但奇怪的是，我的身体不仅没有因此腐朽霉烂，反而随着时间的推移，日益变得柔滑细腻，我变得通体乌黑并且散发出香味，这使我庄严肃穆、百虫不侵——获得了真正的不朽。
For the next four hundred years, though I remained in an endless darkness and an environment of squeezing, gnawing, crushing, and torturing. Nevertheless, the strange thing is that my body became more and more silky and delicate instead of becoming decay and rot, and I became black and fragrant, which made me solemn and inviolable to gain true immortality.
当我被人类挖出来重见天日的时候，他们的服装发生了极大改变，但依然是那样的表情：嘴咧开，露出牙齿，我依旧无法揣测他们的情绪。如你所见，我如今被摆到一个华丽的、辉煌的、灯光明亮的地方，每天都有熙熙攘攘的人在远处看我，但却没有人上前来用手掌抚摸我。这样一个冰冷的地方，我是必须逃离的，尽管我无法挪动，但总会有办法。两千多年了，我越来越发现瞎子的话具有正确性：活下去，说不定会发生有意思的事情。我几乎是充满信心地等待，我拥有不朽的生命，并将用尽全部生命、力气和希望去等待。真的，有一天，那个人就出现了——就在远处黑压压的人群中，他同我眼神交汇的那一瞬间，我看穿了他，而他也看穿了我。他果然没有令我失望。这个身手矫健的伟大的盗窃者，趁着黑夜将我挪出那个华丽又无聊的地方。当他的手掌触碰到我的时候，那久违的温热的人类体温再一次令我震颤和感动。在层层叠叠影影绰绰的林中空地，他拿出了一个污迹斑斑的箱子，从箱中掏出锯子、锉刀种种工具，然后将我一段段地锯开、打磨……他正在把我雕琢为一件无与伦比的琴。
When I was dug out by humans and seen again, their costumes changed dramatically, but their faces were still the same expression that I could not guess: their mouths were grinning and their teeth were exposed. As you can see, I am now placed in a gorgeous, glorious, bright place where every day there are bustling people watching me from a distance, but no one comes up and touches me with their palms. I have to escape from such a cold place, although I can't move, there will always be a way. For more than 2000 years, I have increasingly concluded that the words of the blind are correct: if you live, something interesting may happen. I wait almost confidently, because I have an immortal life, and I will use all my life, strength and hope to wait. One day, a man appeared in the crowd in the distance, and the moment he made eye contact with me, I saw through him, and he saw through me. I was not disappointed by this great thief with skillful hands, and he took advantage of the darkness to remove me from that gorgeous and boring place. When his palm touched me, the long-lost warm human body temperature once again made me tremble and move. In the forest clearings, which were covered with shadows, he took out a saw, a file and other tools from a stained box, and then sawed and polished me piece by piece... He was sculpting me into an incomparable instrument.
他用一块灰布小心地把我包起来，紧紧地抱着我。他一路奔跑，不停跑、不停跑，步履凌乱而慌张，好几次险些跌倒，对于自己的脚步他并不那么自信，但对于那个必须到达的方向他充满自信。月光，黑风，汗水的味道，薄的背脊。他跑进一间灯光昏暗的小屋，那个女人奄奄一息地躺在床榻上，我能感觉到，她的生灵的气息如此微弱，她很快就会死去。他拨动琴弦，颤抖的琴声回荡在昏暗的房间。他在哭泣，女人咧开嘴，露出牙齿。
He wraps me carefully with a gray cloth and held me tightly. He kept running, and his steps messy and panicked, and he nearly fell several times. He wasn't confident in his footsteps, but confident in the direction he had to go. There is only the skinny back full of sweat in the dark and windy night. He ran into a darkened cottage, where a woman was lying dying on the bed, and I could feel that the breath of her creature was so faint that she would soon die. He plucked the strings, and the trembling sound echoed through the dimly lit room. He was crying, and the woman grinned and showed her teeth.
喂，你相信吗？当琴声响起的刹那，我竟然看到了我的山谷、村庄和浓雾，该死的老杉树依然得意洋洋地跟我比高，瞎子在地里拱来拱去，黑高个儿与藤女人在我的树枝上歌唱，纷繁的星河不停旋转，甜丝丝的雨水从我身体中流过……
I don't know you believe it or not, when the piano sounded, I actually saw my valley, the village and the thick fog, the damn old cedar tree was still triumphantly compared to my height, the blind man arched in the ground, the tall black man and the slight woman sang on my branches, the multitude of galaxies kept spinning, and the sweet rain flowed through my body..
我感到无比快乐。
I feel incredibly happy.
